MosqueMart - Tim Whitler
The good ol' boys are out lady impressin'
Moonshine fueled they sure ain’t restin'
With big cowboy hats and at least one gun
But the dudes sportin' a turbin are skippin' the fun

All the rednecks are bum-rushing
Stomping their boots, Bud cans a’ crushing
Taking all the guns from the hunting aisle
Taking lots of ammo ‘cause it suits their style

Don’t build a mosque next to a walmart (x3)
Don’t, just don’t








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Stanley: "This is Stanley Stubins reporting from
Snodworthy Downs in old Glenhaggisfordshire.

First lord of the admiralty, Thersby Harringbottom,
speaking for the proposition today,
delivered his candid assessment of the situation."

Thersby: "Brutal dictators were the cork
That kept the genie jihad at bay
We have been cleverly maneuvered into
A bit of cork popping which in retrospect
May have been a grave misstep,
First, Iraq in the Gulf,
Then Afghanistan
Then Iraq again
We've been inexorably drawn in.
Libya, Egypt, Yemen, . . .  like dominos
Leading through the so-called Arab Spring
toward the Syrian matter . . .
Which to our chagrin appears to be a much
too literal exemplification of the term "Arab Spring"
With vast Arab hordes
Springing into horrifying violence
Toward each other and everyone else within reach"

Stanley: "Yet barring the unconscionable
brutal dictator 2.0 installation option,
What other possible direction is there to go?
What alternative corkesque mechanism
might we find?
Thersby goes on to say,"

Thersby: "We must stifle the
perpetual oozing putrescent jihad scourge
that sprouts from fundamentalist Islam
and which modern generations
had until recently, perhaps over-charitably, forgotten,

Stanley: Lord Arthur Lemmington the 1st
spoke first for the opposition saying,"

Arthur: " Our economic stability
depends upon security in this region,
make no mistake.
Yet, I maintain that
appealing to and supporting
moderate followers of Islam
remains our best and only viable course."

 Belching smoke from their hemis
Lifted diesels and some semis
They’ll rain down with cold blue steel
Hollerin' pithy things like how’s that feel

Don’t’ build a mosque next to a walmart (x3)
For fill in the blank’s sake

While the Jihadis wait for virgins in the afterlives
The hill folks are takin' their sisters for wives
Don't matter in the end and life ain’t playin'
Doesn’t matter to which blood-soaked god you're prayin'

Don’t’ build a mosque next to a walmart (x3)
Doooooooooon’t

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Thersby: "In theory, this is a noble goal to be sure.
But in the turmoil of the emerging pan-Islamic state,
Supporting any organization in the region save the stalwart Kurds
Has proven time and again to be merely feeding the friendlier maw
of the same multi-headed foe."

Stanley: "Ms. Perquescent Coquette Constabuletta
of Upper Yorkshire Puddletruffle retorted,"

Perky: "The most sacred of rights is the right to believe what you will.
We mustn't permit our state to favor one religion over another
Many religious cultures have spawned groups
That have committed terrible violence in God's name
Our own peoples are not free from the stain of that dishonor in our history.
The rational voices within the larger religious body,
given time, will eventually win out
Let us not over-react"

Stanley: "Thersby's acerbic counter,"

Thersby: "I have a passing acquaintance with history as well madam,
yet I am hard pressed to identify a single period where
religious mania involving violence on a significant scale has
ever been repressed by any action
other than the passing of centuries
or else a healthy dollop of over-reaction"

Stanley: To get the man-in-the-street point of view
regarding these lofty deliberations
we troubled Dobbins McKiltybaubles,
Porter in South Clearbodice Abby"

Dobbins: "We have a spot of noodlin' to do,
That's plain as the warts on yer arse.
What I mean ter say, if'n it please ya is . . .,
We need to decide if we have the stomach
To fight as hard as it'll take
And when we're done
Leave nothing but ashes
Or else monsters, like there was before
Keepin' those Jihadists busy

And if we don't have the stomach fehr it
We'd best put every battleship, barricade and buttress we have
'twixt them wants to end us, and our own mother-lovin' arses
And pray they can sort it themselves.
If'n it please ya,"

>^!^<

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